Question : When we reprimand our adolescent children they get very upset. They become argumentative, confrontational and do not listen to us. How should the parents handle the situation?
Pujya Shree Mota : Adolescence is an important time of growing up. If it if not handled in the right way they may become estranged for good. It is very difficult to bring them back afterwards. We all are responsible for creating this situation with the adolescence.
We should give direction to this force of youth with deep and sincere love from our hearts. It happens that all adults in the family keep finding faults with children. They continue to reprimand them. This creates a situation where these children feel oppressed and bored. It is not my intention to say that they should never be reprimanded. They need our guidance. But the method and the way we tell them should be suitable to them. This is the time for us to change our methods and ways to deal with them.
This is the age that requires careful handling by everybody involved in their care. Majority of parents today lack the skill of dealing with children. In our society there is no understanding of this change that children undergo to reach adulthood. Their minds and bodies undergo this tremendous change by forces unknown and incomprehensible to them. Entering adolescence is like taking a new birth. There are several changes that cannot be seen unlike the changes seen in the body. Careful parents must know this and be alert for these changes.
First of all be aware of yourself. Our truthfulness and devotion in our lives will naturally affect the minds and the hearts of these children. Do not worry if this does not happen. In case we need to tell something to them, tell it without getting upset and stern with them. Pray to God in your heart that the best qualities in life be granted to them.
Pujya Shree Mota
Dampatya bhavna
Edition 5; pages 153 - 154.
